Category Archives: Uncategorized

Ambivalence

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Possible Inner Monologue of the Woman Behind Me in Line at Wholefoods Today

Source: Possible Inner Monologue of the Woman Behind Me in Line at Wholefoods Today

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I edited the poem.

By Todd!!! Did you edit the essay? i edited only the poem. Did anyone else edit the poem? only i edited the poem. Did you improve the poem? i only edited the poem.

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“Unintended Consequences: The Movie”

By Todd!!! The Deity sits on a throne atop a cloud. “Silence!” he bellows. All goes silent, except one drunk girl who screams “Wooo!” (She is from New Jersey.) God clears hi… Source: “Unintended Consequences: The Movie”

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Must Love Dogs

By Todd!!! The gal down the hall insists on walking her mutt at the same time I walk my precious Sparkles. This, despite knowing full-well that her vermin despises my sweet angel pup—a contempt that once erupted into a fierce…

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Oh How I Will Love Thee

By Todd!!! My love, I will draw figure eights with my fingertips around your back dimples, whisper words from my heart to your soul, And tomorrow, my love, When you wake in my arms, You will no longer doubt that…

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A Message from Todd’s Inner Critic

By Todd Dude, you’re my number-one homie. I’ma shoot you straight because no one else has the balls to. (Plus, I’m drunk from all that Jim Beam you just guzzled.) Todd, bro, you need to give up this whole (does…

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